He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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