I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
