Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
