She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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