I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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