i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was confusing and full of hummus
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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