I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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