She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He did a backflip because drugs
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