You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
