So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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