I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
