I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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