I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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