We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
