Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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