This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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