i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
