Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
