The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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