Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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