GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
