Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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