This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
