i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
