worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
