I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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