A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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