Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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