Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
