I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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