You really coming over, don't trick.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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