i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
