I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
