It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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