So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
