conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
