Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
