Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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