If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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