I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
