Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
