Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
