I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
