God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
