i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
