So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
