so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
