Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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