every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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