I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
